Kyle. 19. Military Brat. Sophomore at the University of Alabama. Roll Tide.
At least for a while. I need to try and get back into tumblr. I’m actually taking a class this semester: MC 495 - Social Media. One of the chapters I have to take a test on is an entire chapter on tumblr. I’m living the dream y’all! Haha!
Anyways, I need to get back into my fandoms/catch up on all of my shows (Doctor Who season 7, Downton Abbey…basically all my British television). Also, according to one of my friend groups, I HAVE to watch Parks and Recreation - thoughts?
To explain why I haven’t been blogging I have to explain my semester - it was rough. Well, actually, August and September were awesome. It was October and November that beat the shit out of me physically, mentally and (most of all) emotionally.
I lost my best friend. That sounds so morbid…to clarify he didn’t die or anything…I’m just an asshole. Haha. I was treating him like absolute shit. I can’t really say why because I wasn’t doing it consciously (like, I wasn’t thinking about what I was saying/doing - I was just doing it). It all built up until he had had enough. I can tell you the exact date: September 30. I had a lot of resentment built up towards him (this is the same guy I was basically in love with last year) and once those feelings went away…well, the resentment didn’t. Hence, the asshole-ness. He didn’t deserve it at all and I’m not necessarily sorry that we’re not friends anymore (more on that later) but I am sorry with how it happened. This situation bled into one with my other roommate and now I’m not friends with her either. We were never that terribly close but it still sucks to lose a friend, in any circumstance, you know?
As all that was continually going on over 2 months, I had drama within one of student organizations on campus. I had gone on a date with someone when I went to a conference and had made 3 members of the executive board uncomfortable. My reaction to being told this…was not very good. I went ballistic. Literally. I basically went on a smear campaign against one of them. To give you an idea of how effective it was…when me, this person and the faculty advisor met: “No one has ever said meaner things about me in my entire life. You didn’t even talk to me, you jumped to conclusions based off what Ms. [insert name] told you and then said these horrible things!” It was bad, y’all. In the end - I lost. Obviously. You don’t blow a gasket and still get what you want.
After that happened (which was in mid-October so I still had a ways to go in my semester from hell), I just dealt with the stuff with my roommates (which consumed the better part of two months) and went on about my life.
December 1 was the happiest day of my year because it signaled where my life started going UP again from the rock bottom state I was in. The stuff with my roommates was over. No, we’re still not friends but we can co-exist peacefully at this point. This semester I don’t see being very bad at all because I don’t really talk to either of them. I mean, I do talk to them but I don’t talk to them about anything that I wouldn’t talk to a stranger in the Target/Walmart line, you know? We’re polite/friendly to one another and I’m cool with that.
I don’t expect to ever be anything more than an acquaintance to either of them ever again. Which is for the best. By the end of Tyler and I’s friendship, it was just a matter of who was going to cut the chord. We’ve both been happier since it happened. He’s been happier because that negative and hurtful influence (me!) is gone from his life. And I’ve been happier because having Tyler in my life caused me nothing but frustration and insecurity. That was no fault of his own. He never purposely hurt me the entire time we were friends. It was just after everything that happened, it was impossible for me to get over if he was there. I don’t regret last year at all. Some of the best times of my life, and a shit ton of my stories, were with that kid. But I firmly believe we came into each other’s lives to make drastic changes for each other, in a short period of time. It was one year but there was SO much that happened. You don’t find people like that all the time, some people never do, but even though it ended badly - I’m really glad that everything happened.
I’ve learned a lot about myself this semester. It was a time for growing, although while going through it it was one of the toughest times of my life. I grew up a lot and learned a lot about myself and how I need to interact with people, especially those closest to me. My friends have told me they’ve noticed a change for the better since everything happened, so that’s good. At my 20th birthday party I realized that I was finally out of the fire. I had finally made my way to a good place again and now I have to work to maintain it.
As for the student organization, I just won it $1000 from placing first in a national competition so my standing within that organization is still on repair but for the most part I’m in the black again (in accounting terms).
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If I continue to blog this upcoming semester, expect to hear a lot about PR campaigns and ALMUN - the model UN conference I’m running this semester! Also, a LOT of bitching about the accounting class I have to take. I’m not excited for it…to say the least. As always, if you read my ramblings, you’re amazing! If you didn’t, I don’t blame you!
I’ve missed you guys! Hopefully I stay on the bangwagon this time..sorry about all those instagram photos! That was just lazy blogging!
Well obviously you scream, “OH MY GOSH! IT’S LIKE I’M DEFYING GRAVITY!!!”
Last night was amazing :)